I have been told many times that I am a guarded person. It has been said in different ways like being “mysterious,” “in my head,” and “there was so much going on in there.” There has been one person who has wanted to find out what it’s all about, and I feel like I failed to allow that.
I, in my own virgo and self-protective nature, pushed away until the reality of what I wanted was farther and farther away. I wanted the relationship; I had been hurt so many times that it became second nature to push away and practice not feeling anything until I couldn’t pretend anymore. I couldn’t shake the pain, the hurt, the sadness, and the longing. I had to figure out where this force field came from and why I fought natural attraction and positive forces coming together. I was charged negatively in a positive symbiosis and it was causing a push pull magnetic field that I had to overcome.
I couldn’t let this one go. You can’t fight attraction no matter how strong the force. Sometimes you run out of negative charge and let forces join. Find the force within, allow the negative out, and when something that positive comes along allow it’s pull to challenge your previously-characteristic-desire to push.