One thing I fear the most is what others think about me. Am I smart enough? Pretty enough? Skinny enough? Do I fit in? Are people talking about me?
My head is on a constant swivel and the social anxiety gets the best of me at times. Who is talking? What are they saying? Did I do something wrong? All nervous energy spent on these things that I was faced with a few years ago. I vowed to work on letting the voices go; work on learning how to quiet and challenge them. I needed to work on letting go of past experiences for they do not define who I am today.
I have changed. I have worked damn hard and I try to care less and less. Less about what others think, less about mistakes I make. I am actually trying to put myself in triggering situations to prove to myself that my fears are irrational and I can handle the uncertainty; to prove that who I am is worth it and that I do not need to change for others.
I am the driver no one else. My seat belt is on, and I am ready to brake whenever I need to, but my foot is on the accelerator. We move forward, aware of our surroundings, aware of what has plagued us in the past and ready to put that in our blind spots only seeing the open road ahead.