You have anxiety. We all do, I promise. I get it. Sometimes that anxiety is a bit worse and can manifest in an anxiety disorder if it takes too much of your energy and joy away from life. I get that too. I was diagnosed with OCD five years ago.
OCD is a disorder of doubt and uncertainty. People with this struggle when there is angst or fear associated with something that threatens their soul, heart, values, and identity. Whether it is checking the stove ten times before bed because you fear a fire that will kill your family or, in my case, doubt you have the wrong partner for fear that someone will leave you and can’t love you as much as they say they do so you push them away before they can hurt you, both types of anxiety are so painful and we try everything we can to lessen the anxiety that the fear brings on.

The problem with OCD and many anxiety disorders is that the more you resist the feeling and try to push it away (checking the stove to get rid of the fear or checking your arousal with your partner to make sure they are the one), the stronger that fear gets and the stronger that anxiety is. So what do you do, you ask?
The hard thing, you sit with the anxiety. You check the stove 9 times instead of 10 and allow yourself to handle the painstaking fear and paralyzing discomfort of needing to check again so that there is no fire. You tell your partner you love them instead of questioning your love for them and sit with the anxiety of the doubt that you do. The anxiety will dissipate and it will prove to you that your fear is trying to protect you from an irrational fear. Your anxiety is a cover up for a core belief or fear deep within you. Whether you feel you are not a fit parent or you are not worthy of love, there is something that is causing your anxiety to flourish, and in order to figure that out, in order to heal, you must be willing to face the uncertainty.

I promise it works. I will also say it’s not easy, but it is worth it. Do this with the help of a trained professional and please have trust in the process. It hasn’t gotten better since you have been trying to get rid of the anxiety, has it? Then let’s try something new. Let it be there. Face the anxiety. Gain trust and confidence. Welcome to the other side!

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