I was just privy to a friends therapy conversation and at the end of it, he turned to me and asked, “so what did you think?” I said, “all I heard was one theme and you never got to the heart of that in your conversation. You talked about the same thing in a different way all while mentioning and offering hints as to the core issue that is going on. What outcomes do you usually conclude with?” He responded, “oh just a few action items for me to work on.”
So I asked, “permission to be candid and offer my thoughts?”
He never got to any heart of the issue he was describing. Throughout the session he mentioned “negative self talk” and “imposter syndrome” and “high expectations but not knowing the end goal” and I turned to him and asked, “who are you trying to be a certain person for?”
I repeated, “who are you trying to impress, perform for, be the “best at whatever” for? What is the goal you are working towards? What are you afraid of? and on the flip side “who told you who you are isn’t enough or that you weren’t doing enough?”
These questions stumped him because he had never been challenged to think of the core of the struggles he was facing. There was surface level question and answer, suggestions to try this new time management strategy, or planning to adjust his priorities to he was able to reach his goals, but never ever a mention of the thematic struggle, fear, expectation, perfectionistic tendencies.
I encourage you all to think about struggles you are facing and WHY those things are causing issues for you. Dig deep and allow yourself to peel back the layers. I say OCD therapy for all because OCD is an anxiety disorder that manifests when some fear is present and we are doing our best to control and prevent that irrational fear from coming true. Everyone has fears and whenever anxiety is present there is typically a fear or underlying [false] belief associated to it, so why aren’t all struggles with anxiety treated the same as OCD?